Involuntary workaholic
Dear Corporate Shrink,
My wife complains I’m a workaholic. She actually told my kids she’s considering divorce. I own my business. It does very well but it’s because I work long hours and many weekends. How can I make her understand?
Dear Involuntary workaholic,
Warren Bennis in his book, Organizing Genius, writes about workplaces like Disney and Apple where the level of work rose to greatness. There are a couple of things he says that may apply here.
He writes that members of these great groups have blinders on. The work is all they see. Some even feel like they are on a mission from God. These are people "whose lawns and goldfish have died of neglect. Such people don’t stay up nights wondering if they are spending enough time with their children…. [They] make a Faustian bargain, trading the quiet pleasures of normal life for the thrill of discovery. Their families often pay the price."
Bennis also maintains that to accomplish greatness it requires the collaboration of talented people. Leaders of these great groups don’t accomplish it all by themselves. They have an eye for talent and can draw on the internal resources they are surrounded by.
So…if you are convinced that your business has risen to greatness; that it has a product or service that affects all of mankind, your wife and family maybe should give you a pass and support your hard work. If you, however, like most of us businessmen, provide as best you can for your customers but are not the founder of an enterprise the level of an Apple, work with your wife on balancing your life.
Furthermore, even if you are the leader of a mission of greatness, Bennis maintains, and I agree, you should be able to motivate those you work with to collaborate and contribute their talents so you don’t have to do it alone.
You won’t lose your business during a vacation, I promise. It may feel like you are but it will all be there when you get back.